August 1, 2008

Hooray! We’ve got our internet back. Good times. That means I should start back at blogging so here I am. I actually really like to blog – thanks for reading it.

Anyway, I had some promised topics so here I go. The first is a couple of prayer request.

James and I have had a pretty set plan for our lives for the past few years. Specifically it involved me graduating (still the plan) and then moving off to Denver for seminary. It’s that last part that has recently come into question. James and I have a lot of dreams for our future and there’s a chance that seminary isnt the best way to fulfill those dreams. We’re excited about some other options we may have but we want to tread with wisdom. So, the first prayer request is that we would have wisdom as we move forward.

The second is more immediate and something that we would really appreciate prayer for. Whatever dream we pursue, whether or seminary or the other thing we’re keeping under the wraps for now, we’re going to need money. Right now a huge amount of our money is tied up in rent. On Sunday night I just felt a leading that James and I needed to pray for some kind of miracle in our housing situation for the next year. We’re willing to move pretty much anywhere that will allow us to stay at our current job and school. We’re willing to live with people. Any money we saved on housing we would put directly into savings for our future.

Let me give you some background on this prayer request. A couple of weeks ago my best friend, her husband, and their baby moved back to the states so that she can go to nursing school. They have been blessed with free housing for the year – they’re going to be living in a basement apartment and will be splitting the utilities cost with the owners. Now, I’ll be honest, my first reaction was jealosy. I know, it’s terrible, but it’s true. I was jealous of the way that God was blessing them. This kind of thinking brings me face to face with my theology and how inconsistent I can be sometimes. Here are some things that I believe:

1. Blessing and cursing are God’s to give – He has total perogative and owes us nothing.

2. God wants to bless us.

3. There is a verse in James that talks about having not because you ask not. With this one it’s important to remember the first belief – God doesn’t owe us. This is the weakness of much of the “prosperity gospel” teaching. God does not owe us health, wealth, and happiness. He may choose to give those things to us according to His perogative but prayer is not a formula to getting whatever we want.

Here I am, being jealous of things that I don’t have but I want. I’m all jealous of things that God has given someone else. In the meantime I have never prayed for a less expensive housing situation. I cannot boast some kind of super prayerful and faithful life. There is a part of me that is afraid to pray for things that I want, like I feel like it’s wrong to do.  I don’t think that’s right.

So – this is my challenge to myself – to try to pray a faithful prayer regarding our housing. In general our prayer is for something that will help boost our savings for the future but I’m trying something new here. I know that God does not have to bless us in this way. I know we do not deserve God’s blessing. I know that we have a nice home and I strive to be thankful for what God has given us. I believe that God can do more than we can ask or imagine. I’m trying to have faith.

As James and I have been praying for our future God has already begun to bless us in unexpected ways:

– the house-sitting job made us $150 which went right into savings

– I got a job helping a professor this week that will pay $10 an hour

– I got a tip about a bank that might be hiring. I would have hours closer to James’ schedule and get paid better. This is important since everything I make goes into savings. We live off of James paycheck and even some of that goes into savings too.

God is good.

Now – before I end this I wanted to get some of your thoughts. I’m working through my own thoughts about praying for something you want, I want to know what y’all think about it. Do you think it’s ok to ask for something you want but don’t necessarily need? Do you practice that in your life? Where do you think the border between faithful prayer and prosperity gospel is?

Ok, the end.


One Response to “”

  1. Clint McKelvey said

    Hey Hawbacker!!
    I just saw your blog and i dont know how i ended up here!! ha!! yeah i know…well i’ve also struggled with some of the same things that you are talking about… you know like praying for what you want…uummmmmm this is my 1 cents worth… i have learned to ask God to supply my needs… also i think James 4:3 will help you…now i know the context but its still talking about the wrong motives.. im not saying urs is a wrong motive but i always asked God to make my motives the same as His for my life..i think God is all knowing and knows whats best for us….but ive also realized that it doesnt always look like we think it should….so with saying that i dont try to make very specific details in my requests but mainly general requests… like “God please provide us an option for our housing, but if you dont i will still remain faithful to You, Lord” because i wouldnt have the slighest clue what would be the best thing for me ya know…so i couldnt really get specific because i wouldnt know what to ask for…im a horrible writer and i dont know much this even helps, if at all….. but i just thought id say that…thats just how i see things right now in my life…over these recent months ive really realized that i dont know what im doing but to just ask and remain faithful to the responsibilities given to me and thats all i can do…. Im living in Texas right now and starting Seminary next week!! and im scared to death!! God bless you friend


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