Dear Friend,

February 7, 2007

How are you? How are you, really? I used to live in an environment when people would ask that. It was irritating. As irritating as it was, I miss it. Lately it’s far too easy to hide how I’m doing. I’m not doing so hot. I’m not terrible, just not fantastic. Life is so busy lately. I thought last semester was busy, but not compared to this. I’m taking seven classes all from professors that seem to think that reading is fun and that books written by old men are riveting. They aren’t all bad but when’s the last time you read a commentary straight through?

I’m so busy lately I don’t even have time to think. Last semester I would contemplate all the deep theological things being discussed, I really would. I haven’t had time to do that this semester. Life is just buzzing by. It’s not just theology either. Things have happened these past few weeks outside of my scholastic life that are worthy of some thought yet they have come and are going. When I do have time to think or journal or write or read something other than “The Journey from Texts to Translations” I just want to lay in front of the TV and veg. It doesn’t help that I’ve had a nasty little sinus infection since the second week of classes. I’m hoping that once I get to feeling better I’ll be able to think again. But, what if I still can’t?

This whole dilemma has me thinking about quiet times. I’ve always been weird about them, the whole “you must do it every day” and rules about how long it should be or what you should do during it. It should be said that I do have a bit of an authority problem, I don’t do well when told what to do. Aside from that, I struggle seeing a strict outline for quiet times in scripture. We say reading and studying scripture is a command but I can’t for the life of me remember what chapter and book that’s in. So, this combined with my busy life has me rethinking quiet times. Here’s my new thought. I think that maybe what I’m needing lately is a quiet time that is simply me, sitting in the quiet, and thinking about my life with the Lord. Talking to Him about my life. Working through what’s been happening. I know this doesn’t sound profound but I think that a lot of us don’t do it. We don’t think about our lives. For example, I worry about this or that yet never sit with the Lord and think about why I’m so worried and why God says not to worry. I know He says I shouldn’t but why? Why is it bad for me? How is it hurting me? Perhaps if we reasoned through things that are flying by us every day we would feel more comfortable in our worlds. I’m rambling now, these are new thoughts that really need to be developed a little more. (Oh, the irony.)

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Jessica, that sounds a whole lot like prayer. It does. But, for me taking the word prayer out of it makes me not only more likely to actually do it but it also makes me less fearful that I’ll do it wrong. No matter what, this is what I need right now and I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m not the only one. So, light a candle, sit in a cozy spot and just think about something real and think about it with the Lord.

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