Relations

November 28, 2006

Sorry it’s been a few weeks. The holidays are busy and all that. Now there are all sorts of things on my mind. What to start with? Hmm.

 I guess I’ll begin with what is on my mind right now. Relationships. I just received an email from a good friend who is struggling in a romantic relationship. I received an email last week from a friend who is nervous about a social situation coming up because the pressure is on for them to get all bonded. So this got me thinking about how difficult this all is. Romance, friendship, family, and more. We all want to be in relationship, we even need to been in relationship with people, yet I find that there is some kind of reflex that stiff-arms anyone who gets too close, even, at times, my husband. Why is this?

Well, the easy answer is sin. Being a sinner relating to sinful people is quite a mess. My sin hurts you, your sin hurts me, even if we forgive that wound is still there. We’re like those puppies you see at the pound who have been beaten by other owners and shrink back every time you get close because they are scared except we’re both the wounded puppies so you think that we would huddle together in the cage from warmth but we still shrink back. Maybe the problem is that we think we’re the only puppy.

Ok, enough dog analogies.

I think the sin we are most afraid of being the victims of is rejection. I’ve gotten to where I think rejection is sin because it’s based on some kind of judgement and we certainly have no right to judge. (This is bad because there is this person that drives me absolutely crazy so I’ve rejected him and now I feel all convicted. Dang it!) So anyway, I think this fear of rejection runs so deep it makes every kind of relationship incredibly difficult. I reason internally that if I push you away before you can reject me then I’ve saved myself some struggle. The problem is, what if you weren’t going to reject me at all? Now I’ve just missed out on a relationship that could have been great.

Ok, so there aren’t any solutions here. Perhaps we just need to realize that relationships are worth the risk. If we are fearful, I think that God will walk with us and give us wisdom. I know that there are times that I’ve taken the risk and I’ve been hurt yet I also know that God has led me into some risks that have been more than worth it. We have to choose to forget how much we could get hurt and remember how much we stand to gain.

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